here comes the sun

the first day i met z, he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. this was two years ago. now i no longer see taiyou (what i named the bike) but i see z all the time... i wish i saw more of taiyou instead. i'm only kidding. i love z! anyhow, it was my first time on a motorcycle but that was all i needed to realize that riding a bike is far better than being stuck in a car. i still want a bike of my own.

riding on taiyou
with my hands in your pockets,
i felt no worries.

dust buster needed

leaving my bedroom window open allows for the dirty l.a. air to blow in, bringing along with it dirty l.a. dust. *cough cough!* i hate dusting, mostly because it only pushes the dust back into the air to fall on another piece of furniture. the last line of this poem is the title of a faulker novel that i never finished reading. it too collects dust on my bookshelf.

thin layer of dust
collects on my cold body
as i lay dying.

wasted postal stamps

after a really long haiku hiatus, i've set away some time dedicated only to writing and so i'm back writing for my own mental health... but mostly for your reading enjoyment. ha!

i was reorganizing my desk and happened upon a collection of old letters i wrote that i really wanted to send at one time but never had enough balls (i guess you could say) to send them. they made me sad because if only they were read, some things may be different now, or maybe not. this haiku isn't a complete thought (or sentence of any sort) but i didn't feel like picking at it anymore.

letters never sent
with words never to be read
addressed to no one

november has come

happy first of november. as much as fall is my favorite season, i'm feeling a little down. maybe it's because there isn't as much daylight or that it's cloudy in the mornings or that i'm off prozac. only kidding!! this one reminds me of another haiku i wrote a while ago...

i'm hurting myself
looking for someone, something
that i'll never find.

moi?

i was sitting on the stairs outside of royce, having a coffee and cig break, and just watched people walk by. it's my favorite thing to do. but what if someone were watching me?

sipping cold coffee,
girl carefully contemplates
next haiku contents.

baby, it's cold outside

school has taken over my life so the only time i write is on the bus ride to and from school. and even then, i'm fighting for a seat or fending off the crazies. anyhow, it's kind of cold in l.a. now, or at least in santa monica. i can tell because i'm pulling out extra blankets at night and i do a little shiver dance when i wake up in the morning. the perks: i get to wear leg warmers and tights!

i wish you were here
to hold me when it's cold out,
to keep my heart warm.

one too many

the haikus i've been writing have been kind of depressing. i'm not sure why.

waking to nothing,
hung-over from daily life,
i need to throw up.

come again another day

it rained on tuesday. bizarre. not that it was because it was tuesday but because the rain seemed to come out of nowhere. monday night, around 1-ish, i saw lightning and felt a few fat drops of rain while i was sitting on the outside step of my apartment but i thought nothing of it. the next morning, i awake to the calming drippy droppy sound of rain. i love the rain, the way it smells, the crispness of the air, the light sprinkle on your face when the wind blows, and especially sploshing in puddles... is sploshing even a word?

unexpected rain
falling upon the pavement
becomes my playground.

oh it's such a perfect day

i love l.a. because most of the time, the weather is perfect. like today for example. there was a little overcast in the morning but it cleared up by mid-morning. it's sunny, but not too hot. breezy but not too chilly... just the perfect crisp day. you can almost tell that fall is approaching. i had my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and gala apple in the courtyard behind powell library today. i like sitting in the sun on days like these. as for the haiku, i know it's not quite autumn yet but it's only a week away.

seventy seven --
the perfect temperature
for an autumn lunch.

not-so-magic school bus

i take the santa monica big blue bus to school every morning. and every morning, i seem to pick the exact time to leave the apartment and find the exact walking speed miss the bus by seconds! i mean seconds! i see it pull away as i scurry across the gas station with my bag and bus ticket in hand. that means i sit around the bus stop for 10-20 minutes applying lipstick.

the bus gods hate me --
i missed big blue once again...
i wait like a fool.

sick of being sick

for the past 2-3 days now, i've been sick. i must have started wednesday night when i didn't sleep because i was working on a paper and studying for a midterm i had the next morning. hot face, cold fingers and toes, chills every now and again, stuffed up ears, sore throat... ugh, at least the day-quil and tylenol cold helps. i miss being healthy.

feeling feverish,
smelling of cherry cough drops,
i wait for my death.

eskimos?

instead of doing my homework, i was flipping through salinger's nine stories and re-read "just before the war with the eskimos" again. i won't explain the story but the last line reads "a few years before, it had taken her three days to dispose of the easter chick she had found dead on the sawdust in the bottom of her wastebasket." if you've read it, good for you... it'll make sense. if not, then go to the library and ch-ch-check it out. anyhow, it's a little depressing but that's what happens when inspiration comes from salinger.

it has taken me
three months to dispose of the
past life we once shared.

another sleep haiku

i've recently realized that i haven't slept by myself in a long time. hey hey now, i'm not sleeping around! it's just that simon was staying over at the apartment for the last few weeks and i was in s.f. sleeping with susan and such... (a wee bit of emphasis on the ellipsis). it's kind of lonesome sleeping in a big old bed by yourself.

drifting off to sleep
with your body next to mine
brings me sweeter dreams.

can you hear me now?

i was sitting in the courtyard behind franz hall eating my soba noodles, listening to the pod, reading my journal, and for the most part, having a pleasant lunch break. then in a matter of seconds, like eight people came through talking on their cell phones. it looked really funny because there was so much talking going on but none to each other. i think they were trying to escape the noise by coming down there but instead they found other cell phone users.

next time i see you
don't bother speaking to me.
rather, call my cell.

haiku break

jon told me about this site so i've decided to give my haiku writing a break and try to write something to fit the restrictions given. it was really tough to make the lines exactly 30 letters, including spaces and punctuation. it was a nice challenge though. tell me what you think before i submit this to their site. i really want to be published.

resist falling in love because
ugly monsters will breath life
in your heart, mind, and soul,
leaving you paralyzed forever.

beer chair

i went to a party last friday with some fabulous friends. the first line was written by me and simon while drunk on aug. 12 around 2 a.m. after i sat in a beer-spilled chair... hence "beer chair." we gave up after the first line because... well, because we were drunk!

sitting on beer chair,
my skirt slowly soaks up booze
'til simon saves me.

millions of peaches

i don't know much about modesto except for the snippets of information i get from tony and simon and ross. i imagine there to be a lot of farms where i can just walk up and pick whatever i want. too simplistic? whatever. well, since i'm going up north in about a week, i asked ross what activities we should do. i really want to pick peaches and make a pie. doesn't that sound yummy?

orchards of peach trees
neatly lined up like soldiers
offer me their fruit.

i hate school

i think many students can relate.

summer trapped in class
longing for sun, sand, and surf...
i can't concentrate.

you're fired

my job is boring but it pays the bills and my co-workers are really nice. filing paperwork is extremely boring and i'm afraid that one day, i'll just pass out from boredom.

my drooping eyelids
and slow work habits mean
i'll surely get sacked.

jerk face

i'm taking stats 10 and eng 100w for summer school at ucla. believe me when i say i suck at math but when it comes to this stats class, well at least for the first few lectures, i'm feeling pretty confident in myself. i'm sorry to say but some of the people in this class are just so dumb. "i can't stands ya!"

stop wasting my time
asking your stupid questions
pay attention! gosh!!! (say it like how napoleon dynamite would do it, please.)

such sweethearts

i was rummaging through some of my shit from the dorms and i stumbled upon this sparkling jewel of a haiku. it was written by sam and simon in a valentine's card they made for me. it was a pop-up card of us having a picnic. everytime i see it, i can't help but smile. those boys are too cute!

be our valentine
because what's more romantic
than picnic haiku?

-sam & simon

happy birthday

sam has been my friend for almost a year now and i remember that on the first day i met him, i thought to myself, "what is this guy on?" then i realized he was high on every drug known to man and woman. he ate my hi-chews, filled my head with the "chicken vein" song, wrote "conjuction juntion, what's your function?" on the back of the chairs in math lecture with me, crunched on puffins with me until we couldn't hear what was going on outside of our heads, stole balloons for me, and kept me up playing monopoly. he has also contributed to this blog of mine. happy birthday samer araabi.

twenty years ago
your mom cried out in disgust.
for samer was born.

bloody

i went to donate blood today at the american red cross. i drove to the address i always go but lo and behold, it was a dentist office. i was very confused... do they want my blood or teeth? both very gruesome. apparently they just moved two or three freeway exits over. anyhow, the nurse who took my blood was mean. she was really messy with the iodine and it dripped down my arm. plus, she didn't ask me what color bandage i wanted. she gave me red which totally didn't match what i was wearing. plus, she wrapped my arm ugly... i couldn't bend it and i had to drive home with a stiff right arm... my turns were very wide. gosh! at least they had a good cookie and juice assortment.

donating my blood
for free cookies and water
makes my pint worth it.

the way we were

i've been slowly cleaning up my things preparing for my move. you can't imagine all the random things i've found that have now found their way to the trash. mostly, they return to my junk pile to be found years from now. some things were nice memories, others not. i guess we are all bound to relive our past through our junk, even if it felt like just days ago.

forgotten journal
filled with heart-breaking entries
returns to the past.

faux basho

i was reading the essential basho the other night and he wrote a haiku following an inspiration from another poet. it was about grass. i can't remember it now but i'll post it tomorrow (no promises). believe me, i'm not comparing myself to basho at all... my work is all crap but inspiration from a beautiful haiku poet can't be a bad start.

cool blades of green grass
provide outdoor solace from
suburbian heat.

los angeles, i'm yours

driving around los angeles means sitting around in your car and "enjoying" the sights of the freeway. lately, i've been driving out to the westside more often to hang out with ucla buddies and to see my new apartment (santa monica and federal! yay!). i got the idea for this one last time i was driving but in order to avoid being the stereotypical l.a. asian driver, i had to resist jotting it down in my notebook while speeding on the 10.

thank you l.a. smog
for giving westbound drivers
a gorgeous sunset.

sleepless in rosemead

sorry for the lack of posts. my latest haikus weren't of "summertime haiku" quality. quite frankly, neither is this one. my writings have consisted more of prose and ramblings than haikus. anyhow, i haven't been falling alseep as easily and i wake up a lot in the middle of the night. troubles sleeping have lead me to become bitchier than usual. i apologize if i haven't been my usual. this one was written a couple nights ago when i was up during the wee hours of the morning.

tonight's like the rest --
i notice my pillow is damp
from tears never cried.

bedtime reading

every summer, i promise myself to do more reading. lately, my reading has consisted of the latest vogue, martha stewart everyday foods magazine, spin, rolling stone, and i just finished re-reading charlie and the chocolate factory. i need some real reading. maybe i'll finish that faulkner i started last summer.

summertime reading
covers my bedside table.
i am sound asleep.

burrr... it's cold in here

good thing i don't wear thin bras or shirts.

air conditioner
turned to high gives all its might
to keep me chilly.

home sweet home

i like being at home because everything is so familar but it gets boring. with friends taking summer school, traveling, working and living in places other than rosemead, i have to wait to see them. boo.

finally at home,
i'm as happy as can be...
temporarily.

alberto's

working at darco means i'm two minutes away from yummy yummy mexican food. i went to alberto's for lunch today and ordered the carne asada burrito with a diet coke. it was delicious. i'm not a big fan of flour tortillas but alberto's tortillas are great. it had the right amount to chewiness to it and the elasticity helped the burrito from not tearing. my hands were still clean when i finished eating (but i didn't finish the burrito. it was hefty. i'm disappointed in myself.) anyhow, fearing that this sounds too much like susan's food blog, i'll stop describing my lunch. this is a crappy haiku. i wrote it while eating so i was concentrating too much on how much salsa verde i was putting on my burrito rather than how well written this haiku was going to be.

carne asada,
salsa and guacamole
makes great burritos.

under where?

i like not having a roommate because that means i can do whatever i feel like whenever i feel like- like sitting around in my underwear.

summer nights have me
sleeping in my underwear
sometimes even less...

summer lovin'

i recently purchased a yoshitomo nara notebook during my stay in san francisco. i've made it into a summertime haiku notebook. anything that reminds me of summer... activities, ideas, whatever, will be written into a haiku. i'll try to keep up with this summer theme as long as possible.

my sister and i were on the 5 freeway driving back to l.a. from berkeley with the highway sign reading 245 miles until we reached los angeles. that was a very long 245 miles with nothing on the road except for the occassional gas station and fast food joint. it hasn't rained in a while so the fields were all yellow. every couple of miles was a farm but that was the only greenery in the middle of california.

golden fields of weeds
stretching beyond my vision
wait for rain to come.

monopoly

i've been studying for finals for the last couple of days and haven't had time to play monopoly with sam. we haven't played for months! this one is written by sam. i love it!

Jeanne is quite mean.
Too busy to play a game
of Monopoly

eek

in the middle of studying for my upcoming exams, i realize that i'm screwed. i can't study nearly as much as i should for my classes. i do this to myself... writing haikus instead of studying the language in which haikus originated. so here i am now, cowering to finals and to the end of the quarter.

i lie in my bed
and hide under the covers,
too scared to come out.

what now?

a lot of shit has happened this past week/weekend and i don't know what to make of it all. in fact, i can't even remember it all. perhaps that's a bad sign but maybe some things weren't meant to be remembered. anyhow, i need a break from life. i'll be off in my own world for the next few days.

i have never been
more detached from my feelings
than i am right now.

here kitty kitty

in japanese lecture today, we learned about qualifying/modifying sentences. i'm not sure, i wasn't paying too close attention. one example sugamoto-sensei had was: "the cat which someone threw away." us kids in front all went "ooooh no..." it made me think about the cat that someone threw away and found her way to my house. she now resides in the backyards of the houses on delta avenue with her kittens.

thrown away kitty
takes refuge in my garage
from nightmarish world.

hello stranger

whenever i'm on campus, i never see anyone i know. i know i don't have very many friends but my facebook says i have at least 80 that go to ucla. i guess 80 out of the million that go here isn't a high percentage at all. i miss seeing familiar faces or someone to wave to. maybe i should start smiling at random people.

what are the chances
of finding you on campus
just to say hello?

lost and have yet to be found

four years ago, i was a very different girl. there's the obvious: i was 16, in high school, without a care in the world and i loved knowing that there's nothing that could hurt me. now, i don't even know where i am or who i've become. maybe i've become that same naive girl again.

i am in search of
something i lost long ago.
where could it be?


*i'm sorry that this post doesn't make much sense.

it's been a long, long day

it's not even 5 in the afternoon yet but i'm le tired. as usual, i'm spending my time at work writing this haiku and updating. i'll stay later than what i'm scheduled for to make up for it... yeah, sure. anyhow, i can't wait to go home.

thoughts of my soft bed
and of you holding me close
helps me through the day.

i'm hunger

i know that i should be eating three meals a day but sometimes, there's just no time to stop and eat a full, healthy meal. there's always homework to be turned in, lecture that can't be missed, or work that i can't be late for one more time. all i have is one minute for lunch because ten minutes is not nearly enough time to walk from melnitz to life science, so the vending machine is looking pretty good to my growling stomach.

peanut m&m's
does not suffice as a meal
but i think it will.

donkey-sama

i just came back from japanese lecture and as many of my other japanese classmates know, there is a boy in there we call donkey-sama. you may not know him intimately but i'm sure after sitting five rows in front of him or three rows behind him, you'll hear every word of his conversation with his slightly embarrassed friend. i know there's one like him in every class.

he has greasy hair,
a loud annoying deep laugh.
that's donkey-sama!

it's been a while

i wrote this one a while ago. i haven't had the time to really sit and write about something worth while lately but i thought this one was very good so here it is now, months from when it was first written. coffee and cigarettes are always the best combination for long conversations, i think.

cold night, cold coffee,
broken thoughts and broken hearts;
ashes fill my mind.

star light, star bright

every wednesday, ucla's astronomy department has a planetarium show and telescope viewing for free. i'm waiting for the griffith observatory to open but until then, this is a pretty good second. the geek in me wants to go but i always forget and no one wants to come with me. i missed one more clear night tonight. *sigh* perhaps next week... but that's what i said many a wednesday night ago.

millions of fierce stars
outnumber the lonely moon
but none glow as bright.

*wink wink*

the first line is actually something i saw from an artist being featured at giant robot recently. i really liked it and the more i looked at it, i realized that it was exactly five syllables -- the perfect line for a haiku. this one was made around that line.

wink is half a blink,
smile is a fourth a laugh,
kiss is all a kiss.

pink's

pink's is famous for it's hot dogs as well as it's lines outside. wednesday night, like always, is pink's night for me and justin and danny and eric and jay. nothing can really describe the the nacho cheese chili fries or the bacon-poli-burrito dogs or the double-poli-chili burgers but i think it's worth a haiku.

"my usual"
spicy polish dog
slathered with chili and cheese
is my heart attack.

my head hurts

i've had headaches for the past two days. i think i should go to the doctor because i can't figure where they are coming from. i'm drinking gallons of water, getting plenty of sleep, and eating normally. argh!

persistant throbbing
from a disappearing mind.
vicodin is loved.

break time

i thought it might be time to update so i wrote this one quickly. spring break was fun but as always, much too short.

party with loved ones,
being silly with best friends;
that was my spring break

procrastination

i know i should be studying but haikus have taken over my life.

insecurities
about ever-faithful hearts
makes for broken hearts.

meemees

i think it's needless to say that i like to sleep. whenever, wherever, even with justin's snoring, sleep comes to me pretty easily. i have earplugs and an eyemask so i'm disturbed by next to nothing. the problem is waking up. today, at 6 am, the fire alarm goes off in the dorms. my roommate shakes me up perhaps a half an hour later (i don't know, i was sleeping!). the r.a. has already made her rounds waking people up and getting everyone out of the building. she doesn't make another round to make sure all the rooms are cleared out though. so after sleeping through the alarm, we make our way down the seven flights of stairs and by the time i reach the second floor, the alarm stops ringing. i never made it outside, not even out of the stairwell. good thing because i think it was cold outside.

"meemees"
blankets surround us,
arms and legs entwined like one.
morning never comes.

(justin calls sleeping "meemees." you know, when you sleep, you make the sound "meee meee.")

the good life

when i used to write a lot like back in high school, it was always bitchy or depressing or a combination of both. now that i'm happy and cheery (no less bitchy, however), i've noticed that i haven't been writing nearly as much. has being happy taken a toll on my writing?

writings about good
pale in comparison
to life's misery.

puffin

puffin cereal is delicious, especially the honey rice ones. i recently purchased a box of puffin cereal bars from whole foods. they are a little sweet but still delicious. sam has become addicted to anything associated with puffins. i wrote this one with sam during math lecture. we're working on a title.

puffin cereal
has a high fiber content.
it helps me poop good.

haiku for you

it can get rather boring at work so to keep myself busy, i write haikus. since they're so short, i can write one quickly, stuff it in my pocket, and then pretend like i'm doing work again.

i'm thinking of making this blog into a blog of my haikus. please contribute to it if you like.

"work"
papercuts galore,
keyboards click to pass the time,
where is my paycheck?